The weatherman wears a ‘don’t shoot the messenger’
expression while outside the animals are pairing up
to board the SS President Erdogan calling at Mount
Ararat and Atlantis before sailing over the edge
of the known world. Yo ho ho and belay me hearties.
You voted for Brexit and now we’re all up shit creek
and the woodworm have just eaten the only paddle,
the lifeboats were sold off in the last round of spending
cuts and no one will give us safe harbour. Alexander
Selkirk was once marooned on a desert island. History,
sadly, does not record what he chose as his luxury item.
And who knew he was an NWA fan? But I’ll have a time
machine, thanks Kirsty. Just me and you, kid. Heaven
on this earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, this other Eden.
Al McClimens
Al McClimens comes from Bellshill. But then so do Teenage Fanclub and it didn’t do them any harm. He has been writing for so long he really should be better at it by now. But hard work and dedication were never his strong suit. He now lives in Sheffield where he plans to grow older disgracefully. He will work for food. Please give generously.